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Six weeks have passed...

...and I'm inconsiderate enough to finally post now that I'm sad again.  It's so rare that I even briefly feel this way... but I guess it's the result of lots of things that a number of people have been doing online.  People who will only talk to me on AIM if I initiate the conversation first, people who claim to want to be my friend but won't even take the two seconds to add me to their friends list after I ask 'em multiple times... people who pretend, though I can't possibly imagine the reasons why they do this.  People who randomly take me off their friends list when I couldn't possibly have offended them, then ignore my gentle inquiry afterwards.  That's just a few basic examples.  On the off chance that someone ever added me to her/his friends list just because I link to MP3s in every post, take me off your list now.  :(

Good things are going on in my real life... I've had a wonderful time hangin' with old friends lately.  I have some new friends who use LiveJournal as well... Amy's User InfoAmy is a great example of one.  She doesn't judge me or make assumptions about me, she's easy to talk to and spend time with, and she's candid with how she feels.  She also doesn't say random stuff to me, or about me, that hurts my feelings... she's simply a true friend.  Right now, my real life friends are the sources of happiness in my life that are keeping me from being depressed about the depressing stuff that's happened online.  As a result of this, I'm going to take some time away from AIM, LiveJournal, even e-mail... all of it.  If you're an online friend who hasn't seen me in a while, don't worry... you're still a good friend, and I almost definitely have no qualms with you.

I'm sorry to write something so depressing... but if you really are concerned that this is about you, just drop me a line by e-mail or post a comment.  I'll get back to you when I return.  Thanks to those of you who have always been consistent in the level of friendship you've shared with me, and the openness we've come to expect from eachother.  I'll be looking forward to more of it when I return some time next week.  Until then, please refrain from text messaging me if the contents of it will be something like "I'm sorry..." or "I hope I didn't...".  Just e-mail it, please... I'll get it later.  I just need some time.  I'm still available by cell if it's an emergency though, of course... that will never change.

You all mean the world to me... please don't forget that.  *breathes softly to avoid crying, which he hasn't had to do in over a year*  I feel like such a pansy right now... nearly crying over people I've never even seen.  I guess all of you mean more to me than I want you to.  *forces his eyes shut*  I'll try to post more comments in all of your journals when I return, so that you don't have to take my word that I'm reading what you write.  I do read what you write, too... most every word, catching up on entries I've missed every few days or so.  I hope that's enough, because that's all the time I have.  Oh, and for anyone who possibly thinks they could've caused me to be so sad all by herself or himself... that's impossible.  Let it go... don't be sad because of what I'm writing here.

I'll be back before long, and I'm sorry I don't have the time or strength to individually talk to all of you about this right now.

Comments

( 38 comments — Leave a comment )
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ligaa
Aug. 15th, 2002 07:30 pm (UTC)
Chris! Be happy! Smile damn you!! :P

If people ignore you or use you (for your mp3s?), then I say ta hell with em! Block, delete, and repeat. Why respect and seek the company those who won't respect you back?

Yeah, I guess that does seem a bit harsh. That's why we need nice guys like you to be happy, so harsh people like me don't feel so bad. ;)
gundampilot
Aug. 15th, 2002 07:58 pm (UTC)
Ye Gads, this is new..
As Jen said above, all of the others have already taken the good sympathy words, and, knowing myself, I would want to be different, so.. *snicker* I'm assured you'll get over this soon enough; can't have a fellow optimist going sour on me for long--so perk up, buddy! *gives you a manly-hug™* :p
myrthrilmercury
Aug. 15th, 2002 09:55 pm (UTC)
This is odd. Usually *I'm* the one who broods and has to be cheered up by you. Now that we've switched roles, I don't know what to say. But who's hurt you? I want names. First names, last names, middle names, nicknames, screen names, Confirmation names--I don't care. Whoever hurt you, I'll kick their ass.

I can't decide what's best for you. That's something you need to figure out for yourself. So if you need to, take a break from the net. But put a smile on that beautiful face of yours, okay?
chicky
Aug. 15th, 2002 10:52 pm (UTC)
*hugs*

I noticed you weren't posting.... I wanted to show you wedding pics :)
ninja_evi
Aug. 15th, 2002 11:47 pm (UTC)
:(
really takin a break from AIM? :( i'm gonna miss our mini convo's before i go to bed. whether i'm tired happy sad angry or what not, you always make me smile. sometimes taking a break from technology stuff can be a great thing. good luck on sorting the stuff out you gotta sort out... but come back soon! ;)
aswirlymatrix
Aug. 15th, 2002 11:51 pm (UTC)
throwing in my two cents
Hey Mr. Lionheart. You're not a pansy. I'd write what everyone else wrote but I'd rather say it to you. The people who made you feel this way suck and must be shot. *hugs* *plays with your hair* ;)
avaadora
Aug. 16th, 2002 10:44 am (UTC)
I hope you feel better soon. I would say more, but you've got tons of comments to read as it is. : )
fallon
Aug. 16th, 2002 03:33 pm (UTC)
"People who will only talk to me on AIM if I initiate the conversation first"

I can sooooo relate, you're not alone there.

I hope everything works out with you. I'd like to offer some cool reply as you do in my journal, but I don't really know what to say that hasn't been said already.

:)
summonessyuna
Aug. 16th, 2002 08:17 pm (UTC)
awwww ...
awww . ;-; .. i can share your pain ::hugs tight:: don't worry about those arrogant people. ^^;; .. i know they can get to you.
i'm glad true friendship is helping you out of all this depression. hehe you can find comfort in your friends. n_n;;
please feel better soon. ^^;; and i'd like to thank you for all your words of kindness
lemonsunshine
Sep. 22nd, 2002 05:29 pm (UTC)
Re: awwww ...
Hey! Yuna! Got a prob with arrogence?! *Shove*
(Anonymous)
Aug. 30th, 2002 11:15 pm (UTC)
Wah! Sophie here(yeah, i don't have an LJ, FOD :P!
Hey hey Chris! This is the arcade girl with the cool t-shirt. Oh man! I tracked your LJ down through the email address you gave me and a couple linkies, only to find you WONT be coming on AIM anymore? Awwww! Whyja gimme your SN then? Uhm well...I am leaving for Tahoe in 5 hours(it's 11:10pm now) and I just got home from SR ^_^ Well I guess you just got off work and considering you hadn't slept in 35 hours you won't be coming online. Get some rest and feel better! I will be back Monday night if you wanna talk on AIM. Til then, tata!
lemonsunshine
Sep. 14th, 2002 10:12 am (UTC)
*Claps for DDR*
Can I put you on my friends list?
tidus
Sep. 20th, 2002 11:55 am (UTC)
Definitely! :)
I'd be honored if you did.  I added you to my friends list about a week ago, just in case you didn't notice.  Oh, and I finally passed Max 300 on Heavy mode!  Now all I need to do to be content is pass a single Oni course.  I'm almost there, but I keep dying on D2R when I play Naoki Standard.  So close... :)
Re: Definitely! :) - lemonsunshine - Sep. 22nd, 2002 05:34 pm (UTC) - Expand
lnitefall
Sep. 17th, 2002 07:09 am (UTC)
I hope you don't mind...
I added you into my Friend's List. I'm the Mun (player) of [Bad username: fuujin&quot;], thought you were pretty interesting so I added you. I hope things get better for you soon though. Here's something to help though ::HUGS!::
tidus
Sep. 20th, 2002 12:15 pm (UTC)
Re: I hope you don't mind...
Thanks so much for adding me to your friends list.  Which character are you role-playing in the Final Fantasy VIII RPG?  (Your comment in my LiveJournal got slightly messed up.)  Also, thank you so much for being concerned about me.  I'm actually doing great right now... I was only sad for a very short while about all of this, and simply haven't had the chance to post since then because I'm always super busy.  *hugs you back*  I really appreciate your kindness; you're really too sweet.  I hope we get to know eachother.

- Chris
Re: I hope you don't mind... - lnitefall - Sep. 20th, 2002 01:16 pm (UTC) - Expand
jennilee_rose
Sep. 22nd, 2002 04:18 pm (UTC)
*waves at you* Hi! It's Rinoa's mun from FFVIII mode. Just wanted to say hi and that I've added you to my friends list if that's ok?

Jennilee
lemonsunshine
Sep. 22nd, 2002 05:20 pm (UTC)
Chris,
If I knew your AIM name, I would talk to you! (Mine is Blue Arrogence or Anaku Katsaga). Sorry this took so long to comment, and to add you to my friends list.. I've been really busy lately. =/...
Well, whatever it is, I hope you get better. Its not fun to be sad, you know?
Amber..
Oh, and by the way, when you added me to your friends list, you added M, not me, because I took over her LJ! ^__~
(Anonymous)
Sep. 22nd, 2002 11:28 pm (UTC)
I finally checked this out
Hey Chris(tina) it's Carter...I finally checked out your Livejournal which I've been meaning to do for quite some time but just haven't ;p. Anyways i'll be checking back on you periodically now then.

By the way do you think I should start a live journal? it's be cool to at least get a picture when I post on your guys' journals.
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( 38 comments — Leave a comment )