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This LiveJournal entry is dedicated to people who aren't really my friends, but have pretended to be.  People who read this may be offended by parts of this post, but I'm writing this because I've held it in too long... out of fear that I might offend people, or because I'm afraid it might cause some sort of fighting amongst my friends.  However, I realized something recently... that my silence actually isn't doing anyone any favors.  The truth still exists, revealing itself in much more painful ways over time.  In many cases, I probably would have protected some people's feelings by stating what I know... so I'm sick of keeping quiet any longer.  It's time to do what I have to, and be bluntly open about how I feel in my own damn journal.  I apologize to those of you who will be negatively affected due to the ripple effect of this post, and I understand that I will likely lose friends over this.  Feel free to post anything you want in response to this post... be open and honest about how you feel about what I've written, if you wish to share what's on your mind.

This would spam the hell out of your friends lists, so I'm using an LJ-cut...Collapse )

Sorry that was so long, but it all needed to be said.  It's time for the fire to spread... and I just hope it remains contained in this single LiveJournal account.  If you feel that you've been unfairly represented in my journal, write a comment here or e-mail me.  If I agree, I'll post an apology in a subsequent post... but as far as I can discern from my view of the world, this is true information that people should know.  I don't want to post this, but I'd regret not posting it a whole lot more.

- Chris (cK1)

Edit at 4:15pm on Tuesday, December 16, 2003: I removed links to Nick, Jen, Cassie, and Sandra's journals.


( 151 comments — Leave a comment )
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Dec. 16th, 2003 08:32 am (UTC)
I may not know you personally, but I am a friend of Randee's and I did happen to see you at Y-con this year. For one, you're tall and handsome, for two, you cosplay well, and for three, you're a friend of Randee's, and he has good taste. I see why he holds so much store in you--this post took a lot of guts, and big balls. I also liked the fact that you were man enough to take the slings and arrows from this post, and the fact this post is public. If you don't mind, I'd love to add you to my friend's list. You have a bold spirit, but sensitive too, and I admire guts in any human. Plus, you're cute. Heh. *smacks forehead* Keysha no baka. Anyways, awesome post. It's good to get what you feel out sometimes, despite the slings and arrows that may come from getting them out.
Dec. 17th, 2003 12:33 am (UTC)
Re: wOW.
Just so you know, I also read the very kind comment you left in the journal entry Randee wrote which linked to this post originally.  You are too sweet to me, especially as we're just now meeting.  I'd love it if you'd add me to your friends list... and in case you didn't notice, I've added you to mine.  You're also welcome to call me any time... and I'd be happy to call you, as my long distance calling is free to anywhere in the US.  My number is (415) 302-8869 in case you ever want to give me a ring, or send me a text message.  It would be an honor to get to know you.  :)

- Chris
Dec. 16th, 2003 12:11 pm (UTC)
holy damn O.o Not at all involved, but *offers hugs* Bottling up is always bad, good that you let it out :)
Dec. 16th, 2003 12:29 pm (UTC)
Although I don't fully understand the situations or what exactly went on, I'm really sorry that you were hurt :( Your an increadibly sweet and caring person, and if anyone feels thats its ok to treat you the way you've been treated, they god honestly don't even remotely deserve to have someone as wonderful as you for a friend. I don't want to make any assumptions about these people since I don't know them or what exactly went on, but please be careful to not let anyone take advantage of you again. Don't feel the least bit bad for making this post, infact I think it was a good idea that you did. You have true friends that will always be here for you when you need them, and would never take your friendship for granted. We're here for ya Chris *hugs* :)
Dec. 16th, 2003 02:30 pm (UTC)
Wow..lots of assholes get included with lots of friends I guess.. I wish I could comfort you somehow, but I can't really. =\ If you got on AIM I could chat forever, but I simply don't have the money to make a long distance call across the country x_X;

-huuuugs- Gomen ne~
Dec. 17th, 2003 12:14 am (UTC)
It'll all work out okay in time...
...but things are still a bit weird right now.  By the way... please let me know if you want me to call you, Jer.  I have free long distance; I just need a number to call.  Feel free to e-mail it to me any time, and I'll give you a ring so we can talk.  My number is (415) 302-8869, by the way... just in case you have Caller ID on whatever phone I call.  I don't ever block my phone number, by the way.  :)

- Chris
Re: It'll all work out okay in time... - ex_rikku744 - Dec. 18th, 2003 01:25 pm (UTC) - Expand
Dec. 16th, 2003 03:53 pm (UTC)
one more thing
could it be possible to not continue posting a link to Nick's LJ? People that have read this post have been stupid and decided to infringe upon his privacy and acted rather childishly in stalking him out.
I know people have heard good of me, but if they dare harass Nick, I won't be much nice to any of them, doesn't matter who.
I would really appreciate it if all those links to his LJ were removed.

I esspecially don't appreciate others putting Nick as the all around bad guy to blame for everything. because if anyone thinks that, they are stupid and retarded for not knowing everything going on and should stay the hell out of it. Esspecially you Matt, you barely know jack shit on him like I do.

Dec. 16th, 2003 04:19 pm (UTC)
Re: one more thing
Understood, Eve... and a good idea.  I just took down the link to his journal, as well as links to the journals of anyone who has responded to this entry.  Thank you for the suggestion.  I have a lot of other stuff to deal with right now, which has most likely resulted from this post... so I'm going to go attend to that now.  *sigh*

- Chris
Re: one more thing - jangmi - Dec. 16th, 2003 06:28 pm (UTC) - Expand
(Deleted comment)
Dec. 17th, 2003 12:57 am (UTC)
*holds you close*
I owe you an apology, as it seems like forever since I last contacted you.  I've received all of your text messages, I believe... and I greatly appreciated your kindness and support in both your text messages and your LiveJournal comments over the past month or two.  I hope that we can talk again soon, by the way.  I don't really know how to contact you by phone, though... since the only number I have for you is your mom's cellular phone, or something like that.  Oh, and there's no need to worry... I'm okay now, and I'm pretty sure that things will be fine.

- Chris
Dec. 17th, 2003 01:58 pm (UTC)
none of my business
just wanting to say Hiiiiiiiiii.
Dec. 17th, 2003 11:06 pm (UTC)
It's good to let it all out here and there. I only know one person you named on that list ^.^ I don't think it's bad to speak your mind. I think you shouldn't judge them too fast either without speaking to them first. It's hard to say but i think some people need some time to reconsider things.. I don't know what i'm saying but I sure hope people will understand what they done and what you've done too. I look it on both sides first before saying anything but hey this is just my opinion! x.x; don't take it too seriously ne? Take care and i hope that other friends won't just stomp all over you because your a good person
Dec. 21st, 2003 10:29 am (UTC)
Wow, 150 comments! Goes to show you that people do care about ya. ;)

I know it was hard of you to do this post, as I could tell that you never want to hurt people's feelings. But being as you are, you still voiced your opinion, perhaps to open their eyes and shake them back to reality.

Take care, you. Always know that I'm around. *puts arm around your shoulders in a semi-hug*
Dec. 24th, 2003 11:36 pm (UTC)
If shit's gotta be said, bring it on, right?
Dec. 25th, 2003 09:08 pm (UTC)
it totally understand why you did this. Sometimes i feel like doing stuff like that too.But when it comes down to it,im too soft. Anyways,id love to have a chat if you will! AIM me!
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( 151 comments — Leave a comment )