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That was... interesting...

After being at work for three hours, I discovered that the owner wanted three people to head home early.  It was a really slow day, so I totally understood why.  I wasn't supposed to be one of them, but I asked if that would be okay... so that other people could choose to stay.  I got my wish... which works out great, as I still have plenty to do for both JTAF and Yaoi-Con.  Not five minutes after leaving, I come across an out of control FIRE on someone's residence!  Naturally, everyone was just standing around... probably thinking that since someone called 911 (as I heard firetrucks), there was nothing else they could or should do.  Stupid yuppie Marinites.  Some of them stood there with their kids, setting quite an amazing example for them.  All they did was ask eachother how long the fire had been burning, as if it was a show for their own personal amusement.

It made me sad to watch these people... and I realized that I'd have to pay them to help me.

I immediately ran over to a nearby trash can, and removed the bag so that I could use it for water, but naturally the damn thing was fastened down... and I couldn't break the chain.  So, I then ran to a nearby business and asked them to borrow a garbage can.  It turned out to be some gymnasium that I went to like fifteen years ago.  Anyhow, I then ran back to get water that I could dump on the dry brush that was causing the fire to spread.  Luckily, the fire department actually arrived quickly and took care of business.  I returned the bucket, and left... walking away from the ever-growing crowd of people who simply sat and watched the fire burn.  At times, I feel like the only person who even gives a shit when something bad happens to someone I don't know.  I'm sick of both literally and figuratively putting out fires, because no one else cares but me.

I tried calling a ton of people today, many for the second or third time in a short while.  I just kept calling person after person, but no one answered their phone or called back after I left yet another voice mail... not one person, of every single local and long distance call I made.  None of the people I text messaged replied, either.  This has been happening for days, along with the people who say they'll call me back and don't... and I wish I understood why.  Am I doing something wrong?  I can't remember the last time I felt so... alone.  I guess I'll go into San Francisco to do some convention work now, and leave you guys to your lives.  I hope that all of you are well, since I can't seem to get in touch with any of you.  I do miss you and love you all, though.  I don't know why I feel so sad right now.  I'm about to cry, and it doesn't make any sense.

I feel like such a pansy right now... and I'm sorry for whining about this.  I know all of you have your own problems to deal with, most of them much more important and more significant than this stupid one of mine...

- Chris (cK1)

Comments

( 47 comments — Leave a comment )
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ex_iku616
Sep. 10th, 2003 07:34 pm (UTC)
You know, in Psychology, we had it explained that people in a large group are much less likely to do something in an emergency like that, and were given the example of a 12 year old girl who was raped by two teenagers in a crowded zoo in plain view of everyone, and NO ONE stopped to help her. bah to people.

If you've called me and it was busy, it's coz I'm online. :P If you do want/need to call me, call me on my other line. I doubt you called me, tho. e.e; I guess I'll see you at JTAF? So I can nag you and ask you stuff. I need to get that domain setup for our club. e.e so i'll nag you there like i nagged you about the email at fanime :P
jennilee_rose
Sep. 10th, 2003 07:47 pm (UTC)
I'm gald you tried to do something about the fire. It shows that you have a very caring heart. I probly would have done the same. *hugs* I've missed you. Go ahead and rant...it's your lj after all.

*kupos and love*
Jennilee
dynastessa
Sep. 10th, 2003 07:59 pm (UTC)
*luffluff* I <3 you, Chris. I know how you feel-- all...alone and such.

And umm...a lot of people suck. Yes.
shin_san
Sep. 10th, 2003 08:08 pm (UTC)
You're not a pansy. It just seems like you're stressed and being that there's nobody to talk and get everything out of your system it just makes the stress increase.

That's what I think at least. ^^ I have days like that now and then and just had one yesterday. Oh, do me a favor, never say your problems are not as important as others. Everyone has their own but unless they have a family member dying or something, there's no reason to vent it out.

ex_artstar236
Sep. 10th, 2003 08:18 pm (UTC)
i know we don't know eachother very well,
or at all, of that matter.
but, you could call me anytime.
or AIM me. aim; shaking paper

<3
tidus
Oct. 30th, 2003 01:53 am (UTC)
*smiles at you*
I keep meaning to reply to your comment, then forgetting.  I would love to talk with you on the phone some day, to get to know you better.  Would you be willing to send me your phone number in an e-mail or something?  I hope that you can attend my upcoming LiveJournal party, as well... that would be really wonderful.  Thanks for being so kind to me... it means a lot, especially since we don't know eachother at all yet.  *hugs you*  You're really sweet...

- Chris
mournful
Sep. 10th, 2003 08:28 pm (UTC)
I'm so sorry, Chris; I've been extremely bogged down with college work to the point where I've been just downright upset lately. Some stuff has been going on with credits, I've been stressed out of my mind, and things are just overall hectic right now for me. It's nothing you did; you're a real sweetheart and I want you to know that, OK? You're in my thoughts and I hope to talk to you soon when I have some time. I hope I didn't upset you, hon...

- Kristen
fireflytrance
Sep. 10th, 2003 08:35 pm (UTC)
*hugs* aww..call me sometime! I'd love to talk to ya.
comeseptember
Sep. 10th, 2003 08:43 pm (UTC)
I got your text messages, and I'm glad you wrote this entry because the first one didn't all come through because of my service's character limit, and I was wondering what the whole story was. :/

Just so you aren't confused as to why I wouldn't reply, I've only sent one text message from my phone before. ;P If you like replies though, I'll be more than happy to send them. :D Normally I'd just thank people for the messages over IM or e-mail. :]
linnea
Sep. 10th, 2003 08:44 pm (UTC)
No way you're a pansy! I wish there were more people like you. My number btw is 818-353-5552 now. ;)
emimonster
Sep. 10th, 2003 09:48 pm (UTC)
you didnt call me! hehe I would have talked to you or returned your message. I like getting calls and talking on the phone.

Im thinking of going to yaoicon. You're going right? I dont suppose... you could um.. put me up for the weekend? I would be driving up so I would drive you around. ^_^

hmm maybe Ill just call you right now Mr "nobody-returns-my-calls."
l33tsysadmin
Sep. 10th, 2003 09:55 pm (UTC)
I can't tell you how many fires I've put out..
usually alongside the highway whenever I take a road trip. Stupid people and their cigarettes.
feliciahime
Sep. 10th, 2003 09:59 pm (UTC)
Hey? Why didn't you call me? Or if you did, it didn't even tell me you called.... I'm sorry... I wish you wouldn't feel so lonely...

Don't call yourself a pansy and say your problem is less important than anyone else's... pain is pain.. whether someone close to you has just gone or if you're feeling lonely...

Your problem isn't stupid... I know it hurts... please don't cry....

*big hugs*
chanceofrain
Sep. 10th, 2003 10:00 pm (UTC)
*gives you a great big hug and kisu on the cheek*

i still luv u! XP

-lizzie
overthedream
Sep. 10th, 2003 10:10 pm (UTC)
Aww, your problems don't seem stupid at all, and you're hardly a pansy for saying what you feel. ::patpat:: At the very least, you've racked up good karma points ^_~
nikari
Sep. 10th, 2003 10:15 pm (UTC)
I saw a fire truck yesterday. I live by the fire department, and I was on my way home, so I followed it, out of curiosity, because I smelled smoke.

There was a very small trash can fire.

They ambled over to it and put it out with a couple of blasts of water.

They looked very bored with it.

There was a group of five guys sitting in the shade watching.

I guess there wasn't a whole lot of a point to that story. Oh well.

Well, bully for you for helping!

Say, I should see when yaoi con is, maybe I should try to go!
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( 47 comments — Leave a comment )