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A special day...

Yes... today marks the two year anniversary of my last post on LiveJournal.  *sigh*  Oh yeah, I suck.  However, I was reminded by finally running in to Sean (azhp) yesterday in San Francisco of about how long it had been since I last posted... and the last time I threw a LiveJournal party.  So, I'm going to organize another one.  I had a grand plan for last summer to actually rent out a venue and charge nominally for admission, to celebrate LiveJournal's move to San Francisco... but of course that never happened.  Ah well, I may organize it eventually.  :)  Anyway, a lot has happened to me over the past two years... and while I won't be able to catch all of you up on it, I will try and explain part of my crappy rationale for not posting for so long.

Yes, it's about a girl.  A girl I was in love with, head over heels (even though that saying makes little sense) and blinded by the emotion... so much that I couldn't see her for who she really was, or recognize her faults along with the happiness she inspired within me.  I don't regret my devotion to her, nor would I do things any differently... but in some ways, she seriously broke me for a while.  Serious relationships didn't even seem possible for me again for quite some time, since it was such a rare thing for me to even consider wanting one in the first place.  Anyway, some of those feelings still linger... but I've begun to let them go (after two years, I'd better have... right?) and I guess this is generally how most people feel after getting hurt by someone who they believed loved them as much as they were loved... right?

So... mostly I just want to see how all of you are, remind me that I'm alive and well, and tell you that I miss you.  I'll find a way/excuse for us northern California locals to get together again, and see how many of the rest of you I can inspire to make a long drive or flight up here to hang with the rest of us.  :)

- Chris (cK1)

P.S.  I drive a Mazda 6 wagon now, by the way.  It doesn't look like a fast car, but I've abused its 230 horsepower to ditch sports cars on a regular basis.  I'll have to take a picture of the back of it for those of you who haven't seen the 69, too.  ;)


( 72 comments — Leave a comment )
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Mar. 27th, 2008 07:07 am (UTC)
omg you liiiiiiive XD
Mar. 27th, 2008 07:15 am (UTC)
...that I do.  :D  When can I hang out with you and the crew next?  (I'm not free this weekend; I'll be in Nevada.)
Re: Yes... - satrugha - Mar. 27th, 2008 07:26 am (UTC) - Expand
Re: Yes... - tidus - Mar. 27th, 2008 07:34 am (UTC) - Expand
Re: Yes... - satrugha - Mar. 27th, 2008 02:50 pm (UTC) - Expand
Re: Yes... - tidus - Mar. 27th, 2008 04:21 pm (UTC) - Expand
Re: Yes... - satrugha - Mar. 27th, 2008 06:04 pm (UTC) - Expand
Mar. 27th, 2008 07:11 am (UTC)
A special day, indeed! :) So how do we get you to post more often? I'm willing to resort to.. unusual measures. ;)
Mar. 27th, 2008 07:14 am (UTC)
...I haven't really got any concrete solutions for you, but alcohol always helps.  ;)
Re: Well... - fairegoddess - Mar. 27th, 2008 07:17 am (UTC) - Expand
Re: Well... - tidus - Mar. 27th, 2008 07:31 am (UTC) - Expand
Mar. 27th, 2008 07:20 am (UTC)
I've been in the same boat for the past 18+ months regarding a girl, but I bitch about it FREQUENTLY in my journal. Good to see you're alive.
Mar. 27th, 2008 07:29 am (UTC)
*nods slowly*
I'm sorry to hear that you can relate.  It's really nice to see a note from you, bro.
Mar. 27th, 2008 07:22 am (UTC)
My God my Tidus-Kun lives!! Chris!! Its been freaking ages. You never talk to me, tawny (( Urd from AT XD )) anymore XD I wanna come see you now! ^^ It could be fun I go to San fran or will be every so often, my bf lives in Alameda and I want to chill with my friends up in that area XD I miss you punk ass <333
Mar. 27th, 2008 07:28 am (UTC)
Re: Tidus-kun!!!
It's so adorable how you re-introduce yourself to me every time, as if I could forget you.  You should know by now that you and Ariane are welcome in my home any time.  <3
Re: Tidus-kun!!! - bloodychaos713 - Mar. 28th, 2008 03:50 am (UTC) - Expand
Mar. 27th, 2008 07:38 am (UTC)
Sup duders, congrats on the LJ update. :P
Mar. 27th, 2008 07:41 am (UTC)
...thanks.  XD  Are you in the bay area for much longer?  I'll be in San Rafael on Friday for a bit, if all goes well.
Re: Heh... - jeffreyatw - Mar. 27th, 2008 07:45 am (UTC) - Expand
Re: Heh... - tidus - Mar. 27th, 2008 07:49 am (UTC) - Expand
Mar. 27th, 2008 08:06 am (UTC)
Welps, at least you are okay. Glad to hear from ya!

Anyways, sup?
Mar. 27th, 2008 04:36 pm (UTC)
...not too much, just wishing that I had more time to visit people in Sacramento as well as farther north.  I'll try and let you know in advance if/when I'm planning to visit.  ^^  I'll almost certainly be asking Sue if I can stay at her place again.  By the way, your icon is mesmerizing and wonderful.  :D
Mar. 27th, 2008 08:31 am (UTC)

Lol thanks for mentioning me, I definitely have missed seeing you...and mostly because of a girl on my end too, well she's out of my life and not sucking up my time so I will see you...at possibly the cherry blossom festival and fanime, and whenever you throw your little shindig too.
Mar. 27th, 2008 04:24 pm (UTC)
...you are the epic one, mister Maxx Unlimited Heavy stealth.  *grin*  I want to do that one day.  Hell, I was just happy passing it though!  I'll definitely be at the Cherry Blossom Festival and Fanime... I wouldn't miss those.  Hmm, maybe more people will come if I call it a LiveJournal Shindig.  :D
Mar. 27th, 2008 08:49 am (UTC)
Wow. It's so weird to actually see a post from you on my flist! But hey, I kept you when I had a defriending sweep a while ago, so I was living in hope ^_^

*hugs you*
Mar. 27th, 2008 04:31 pm (UTC)
Thank you for always being so patient with me.  *softly kisses you, holding you close*  One of the best things that used to happen to me was when you'd call me at random (from across an ocean) while I was out with friends... it made me feel so loved.  I still very much want to see you again, and spend half a day with you at the very least.
Re: Awwww... - lipstickcat - Mar. 27th, 2008 04:46 pm (UTC) - Expand
Re: Awwww... - tidus - Mar. 27th, 2008 04:57 pm (UTC) - Expand
Re: Awwww... - lipstickcat - Mar. 27th, 2008 05:08 pm (UTC) - Expand
Re: Awwww... - tidus - Mar. 27th, 2008 05:36 pm (UTC) - Expand
(Deleted comment)
Mar. 27th, 2008 04:33 pm (UTC)
You should know that I wouldn't miss that.  :)  I almost messaged you on OkCupid the other day after I randomly stumbled across your profile.
Mar. 27th, 2008 10:23 am (UTC)
Welcome back, Stranger :)
Mar. 27th, 2008 04:34 pm (UTC)
I apologize for sucking so much at keeping in touch with you.
Re: Thanks! - sproutchk - Apr. 2nd, 2008 07:22 pm (UTC) - Expand
(Deleted comment)
Mar. 27th, 2008 04:40 pm (UTC)
...alive, kickin', and honored that you were thinking of me.  It's rather amazing how many Chris people affect your life in various ways.  I think a phone call would be a lot better than an e-mail, so why not just give me a ring at your convenience?  The number is still (415) 302-8869 if you don't have it handy.
Mar. 27th, 2008 11:11 am (UTC)
Mar. 27th, 2008 04:41 pm (UTC)
Mar. 27th, 2008 11:44 am (UTC)
Good to have you back :)
Mar. 27th, 2008 04:43 pm (UTC)
...'tis good to be back, and I really appreciate you sticking around to take a ride through my little world every so often.  It's greatly appreciated.  :D  Are you still sick, or feeling better yet...?
Re: Thanks... - tirwen - Mar. 28th, 2008 12:08 pm (UTC) - Expand
(Deleted comment)
Mar. 27th, 2008 04:15 pm (UTC)
Thanks for welcoming me back.  Yes, it has been that long.  The breakup wasn't nasty, per se... it was much more like getting blown off and/or ignored.  Basically, it's just not how you should ever treat someone that you care to love... and she forced my hand, giving me no other recourse.  Trust me... I put my heart and soul in to this girl, made myself 100% available and offered anything to make it work.  It's obvious that she's not ready for any relationship, much less one with a guy who actually and truly loves her.  You have to give what you get, and words don't cut it.  Welcome back from Japan, and congratulations on your new job as a writer... that's awesome.  I appreciate the words of encouragement, as well.
Mar. 27th, 2008 12:43 pm (UTC)
It's good to see you actually on LJ for once! Hehe. I missed you at last AX and I'm not going to AX this year, so I guess it will be a while before I will be able to see you again, unless you are coming to Anime Vegas!

An earlier comment said that you were going to be in Nevada this weekend, anywhere near Vegas?
Mar. 27th, 2008 04:08 pm (UTC)
...I think that it will be more like Reno, but I'm not positive.  I'm simply accompanying my roommate, at his request.  If it was Vegas, I'd certainly know to call you.  :)  That trip will happen later this year, though.
Mar. 27th, 2008 02:21 pm (UTC)
Aw. I'm sorry you went through that. I've been very fortunate in that most of my 'relationships' were online previous to my current one, so the heartbreak was minimal.

I'm glad you're getting through it, though. I hope your life is going well? Gods, I wish I could go to CA! But, hopefully sometime in the next couple years I can. Maybe we'll meet up when I do!
Mar. 27th, 2008 04:55 pm (UTC)
It's always amazing to find someone who can live up to your wishes and dreams in person.  You've been very fortunate, as of course was he as well... he's so lucky to have you.  :)  Regrettably, the relationship I wrote about was mostly online... I only met her once, and it's entirely possible that I was never more happy in my entire life than I was while I was with her then.  That's the memory I have to live with while I continue to let her go... that someone could make me that happy, and she's gone for apparently no reason.  I've never in my life known how to deal with that, and she's offered me no resolution... no closure.  I deserve better than that after everything I did for her... after I couldn't have done anything more from where I was, and offered her all that was left of me.

I do hope you come to California one day... I'd be so happy to spend time with you.
Mar. 27th, 2008 02:55 pm (UTC)
Forgive me if this is a sensitive or taboo subject... but.. just who was this girl who so verilly broke your heart?

I only ask because your situation may be similar to something I mayself might possibly be in (not sure).

...I dunno >_>


Dreamer81382 <-- AIM

Mar. 27th, 2008 04:03 pm (UTC)
...it's not who you're thinking of.  Her name is Lindsay, and this was online.  It's also no longer a sensitive subject.
Mar. 27th, 2008 04:13 pm (UTC)
*leaves a run-by comment on her way to yet another office meeting*

You're doing better than I did in that situation; the last time someone well and truly broke my heart, it took me 5 years of soul-searching to recover. ^^;; Be well!
Mar. 27th, 2008 04:50 pm (UTC)
*leaves you a reply comment to read when you return*
Thanks so much.  :D  By the way, let me know if your company is hiring System Administrators (not senior ones, though) or IT Help Desk type stuff.  I'd love to apply, and work with you.  I'm sorry that it took you so long to recover from such a heartbreak, but I can see it when your heart is 100% invested in another.  *hugs you*  You deserve better than that.
(Deleted comment)
Mar. 27th, 2008 04:47 pm (UTC)
Your car is beautiful, then.  :D  I drove my friend Ray's some time ago (yes, JTAF Ray) and it was a pretty zippy little vehicle.  I love the blue, too... in fact, I've never seen them in any other color except that one.  Power to the Mazda owners... we know the commercials aren't just hype!  :D  As for the girl troubles, they really are in the past... these days, I'm just trying to find the right one.  A challenge, but one that's a whole shitload more welcome than trying to fight to keep a relationship that's dying.  That just hurts like nothing else.  Let's go race our Mazda pretties some time!  *grin*  Just kidding... unless you actually want to... ;)
Mar. 27th, 2008 05:13 pm (UTC)
hola my friend!
glad to hear you are alive and well.
love is a bitch, no doubt, but i consider the happiness to outweigh the badness. perhaps you feel the same way?
<3 besos.
Mar. 27th, 2008 05:26 pm (UTC)
I'm sorry that girl really hurt you. =| Pain like that sucks. I recently was just able to become good friends again with my ex from two years ago, only to have it completely ruined because of his girlfriend. @___@ But oh well, what can ya do? It might just be a sign that even the friendship wasn't meant to be. Anyway, I hope your bad experience won't keep your heart closed from future serious relationships.

I was excited to see you posted! XD I sort of figured you'd update again SOME day. :P Nice car.
Mar. 27th, 2008 05:31 pm (UTC)
Hey! Great to hear from you again, I was just thinking about you and wondering how you were!

Sorry to hear about the girl troubles. But I'm really glad to hear that you're on the mend and I hope things start looking up for you soon.

Hope to see you at Fanime!
Mar. 27th, 2008 05:32 pm (UTC)
I miss your face!
Mar. 27th, 2008 05:39 pm (UTC)
Wow, you totally live, bro!

Anyway, I think you know who this is. We totally miss you here!

We recently moved to Union City and you have to come see our house! It's... epic! :D

Speaking of cars, I have a Mitsubishi Lancer that I drive around these days. Pretty awesome car. :D

Come by some time! You have my number.
Mar. 27th, 2008 05:54 pm (UTC)
What up Chris!!!!!
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